The Disappearing Monkey.
In my occupation as a rozzer I come across various strange things, all of which are explainable and down to the oddness of the general population however the only one that comes anywhere near this qotw.. Theres no witty or spooky punchline either unfortunately.

A couple of years ago I was driving along on duty (I work in a city area - a detail which wil become apparent shortly) at probably around 7 to 8 pm when I was flagged down by a motorist.

An bloke in 50's or 60's who said something like:

'I know this sounds odd but I've just gone out to get my chips and as I've come down that road (pointing to a junction he'd just pulled out of) I've seen a monkey sat on a car bonnet'

The chap seemed quite genuine and after years of dealing with people in my job you tend to get a feel for nutters and people taking the Michael, so I called it in (to some derision) and shot off to have a look.

Unfortunately I never found it, and we didn't have any reports of any lost monkeys either.

Totally random - I've heard of 'Big Cats' but Monkeys on the loose in a city?
(Titanix, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 23:34, 3 replies)

I know this is off topic
but for some reason your story has reminded me of this. My mate knows a man called Michael Jackson. He was once stopped by police and had a hell of a time convincing them that it was genuinely his name :P I always go into fits whenever my mate mentions him.... "Michael Jackson's got one of those cars" pointing at my Dad's Berlingo :P

He doesn't have any monkeys to my knowledge though.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Tue 8 Jul 2008, 2:49, closed)

A bloke
came into my old man's chip shop and said he'd just seen a monkey leap down off the roof of a building, get this, wearing a cape or with wings, like the flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz! It leaped off the roof, glided to the ground, looked at the bloke then scampered off into the bushes.

Apparently he was lucid, sober and embarrased about telling the tale. My old man thought he was genuine about what he thought he had seen......!
(Rsoles, Tue 8 Jul 2008, 16:58, closed)

Which city

Wasn't in Nottingham was it?

About 12 years ago I was on the phone to my mate who lived in the Park Estate, a wealthy area near the city centre. While we were talking he was gazing out of the window when he suddenly exclaimed that there was a monkey walking down the street.

Much piss-taking ensued.

Later that day when I had gone round to his place and we heard on the news that a monkey (family pet) that had escaped from some big house in the Park Estate had been successfully captured.

I had plenty of salt and pepper with my words that evening.
(H K Phooey, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 16:00, closed)