this one is probably a once in a lifetime coming together of circumstances
but I met a Nissan Micra driver who chose not to finish what he started.

I was driving to a karate lesson, dressed in my karate suit. I was also wearing a sleeveless fleece (relevance to be explained shortly). It was about 7.02pm, just after a lot of bus lanes become inoperative. Driving through Twickenham, there was a long queue for the lights, with an empty buslane on the left. So I whizzed up the bus lane . . . not illegal, but maybe antisocial. At the end the traffic merges into one lane. So, I waited a bit and timed it so I just nipped in in front of Mr Nissan Micra.

He goes apeshit, hooting, flashing lights, driving an inch from my back bumper, sticking fingers up, generally being an arse. He has not realised I can drive in the buslane after 7pm, I assume. I pretty much ignore this, but then he does a wild overtake and slams his brakes on in front of me and stops. He gets out of his car, so I do the same. He looks at me, a fairly hefty 6 footer in a karate suit, dives back in his car and screeches away.

Best bit is, at the time I was a red belt, which is pretty much the lowest you can be. But my fleece was covering up the belt I was wearing, and he couldn't see that.

Satisfying.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:41, 10 replies)

I love people who get road rage.
I get it myself - paving rage - with bloody fucking cyclists, as they all think they're above the law and can jump red lights and ride on pavements all they please.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:51, closed)

I hardly ever
get irate at other drivers - in fact in this case it wasn't me anyway.

I spent 10 years living in Rio de Janeiro. When I first moved there, the company I worked for bought me a car. One of the lawyers from the company gave me a lift to the dealers to pick it up, and he gave me a great piece of advice.

'Look, if you're driving here, and somebody cut you up or something, don't put your fingers up or anything like that, 'cause they gonna get a gun and shoot you in the face'.

'nuf said.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:01, closed)

Hahahahaha
Cool.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:08, closed)

And you were driving
a Honda Accord no doubt! Sorry, too obvious

Good on ya though. Nothing wrong with driving in the bus lane if it's allowed. If the lanes then merge into one, I'm pretty sure that legally someone has to give way to you and not leave you stranded in the middle of the road.
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:17, closed)

Nope -
The rule is to give way to the right, and a bus lane in the UK invariably be on the left...

/pedantic
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 15:24, closed)

Ha!
Something similar happened to me. The car pulled in front and screeched to a halt. The door opens, one leg appears then a huge arm wraps around the roof of the car while this man mountain levers himself out. Honestly, it was more like somebody struggling out of a tight fitting jumper than getting out of a car.

He looked me up and down, slams a fist the size of a small dog into his sausage fingered open palm, making a sound like a shotgun going off. He then pointed at me and grinned. Not a nice to meet you grin, more a this is going to be fun grin.

At which point I made my excuses and left. We both knew he'd made his point.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:30, closed)

Falms

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:38, closed)

Red Belt?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 11:47, closed)

Twickenham?
Where do you train? I tried Busen but wasn't impressed with the extortionate prices...
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 13:56, closed)

it's
www.londonkarate.co.uk/
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 7:41, closed)