A friend who was the last man down
In our group of friends we had all lost our plates. All by one that is. Our one friend (Steve) was the shy type, very thin and short for his age, he looked about 12 yrs old when he was 18. Anyhoo, his time finally arrived. He had met this local slapper and was all set to go.

Next day I eagerly called him to enquire how he had got on and to offer congratulations.

Not so.

"It was a fucking disaster" was his reply. "Why?? What happened??" his concerned (pfft) friend asked (already getting piss-taking ideas in my head)

"Well, we were heavy petting and one thing was leading to another, she was laid out on the bed and I was naked. I moved my hands down her body to take her knickers off, and instantly shot my load all over the bed. And it would not go hard again"

Apparently after a little sympathy and "dont worry" type coos from the girl, she dressed and left.

He went to the bathroom and cried.

Of course I didnt call all our friends and tell them anything...... and the sucker punch, I fucked the said slappers brains out the next week on her sofa.

I was a total Cunt.

I apologise for nothing.

That is all.
( Snollock Biffer I don't really sniff Bollocks, Tue 8 Mar 2005, 14:14, Reply)