Microwave chippy chips
Picture the 1980's, game and watch, football stickers and then - the all powerful home microwave. Approx 2 tonnes, 300watts of power and about £400 if memory serves me right.

I had been packed off to my aunts with my little sister for the weekend as a babysitting duty. All good - its a fun aunt so no bother. All was well until we were shown the shiny new metallic zapper that is the modern microwave. The recipe that we were to be Wow'ed with was cheesy chips, micro style. So potatoes were dutifully cut, placed on plates and microwaved for about 15-20 minutes if i remember right. Per plate.(no quicker - i could have used a maginfying glass in Decemebr to do the same). Needless to say they tasted un-cooked. And then covered in cheese and given another couple of melting minutes. I was then co-erced into finishing them all.

About 4 hours later, firmly tucked up in an unfamilar house i felt a gurgle. it got worse. it needed attention. I panicked. ran downstairs and puked in the sink (with washing up in it) around the microwave and all over the kitchen.

The hard, undigested, cheesy vomitty chips looked unchanged from the second they left the microwave and were served.

And i have been the one who has taken the blame "sickly little boy - probably too much pop" rather than "Franken-chef poisons first born male in family with irradiated raw potato meal".

I am still bitter and can feel the corners in my throat even now.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Fri 8 Jan 2010, 13:36, 1 reply)

i know your pain
we got our first microwave in the mid 80s so my mum insisted on using it to cook absolutely everything, from pasta to toasted sarnies that were soggy rather than toasted.

the worst though were the fish fingers. grim greyish strips of damp foulness that made me feel physically sick whenever i took a bite. thankfully i hhad a pet labrador who would eat anything. slipped the fish fingers under the table, into dog's open mouth, job done. clear plate so mum's happy, no micro fingers so I'm happy.

then the dog threw up. and I got blamed. mum didn't really agree with my argument that it would've been me spewing in a much more spectacular fashion considereing the cast iron constitution of the dog. so i had to clear it up. bugger.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 14:55, closed)