Peas peas everywhere
When I was with my ex, we ventured to a friend's place for Christmas night drinks, as was the tradition with her and her friends. It was a mighty festive night, and many drinks were being made. Now, the friend of a friend who was hosting was somewhat of a "fag-hag", and given the gay friends who were also present, it was decided daiquiris would be the order of the night. (Again with the rum? Don't I learn like normal people?)

The rum ran out. At which strawberry daiquiris were being made with strawberries and champagne. Well, not real champagne, cheap Pinot Noir Chardonnay bubbly. That's not bad...that made champagne cocktails.

Then the strawberries ran out. But we hadn't finished drinking. So, it was decided that the nearest thing to strawberries to make daiquiris/champagne cocktails was strawberry jam.

That's when my ex retired to the bathroom, and was overcome by nausea. She sat in the shower/bath, in her calf-length dress, and proceeded to vomit up pretty much everything she'd eaten for the previous 48 hours. And being Christmas, hot turkey meal and all, that meant lots and lots of peas. She sat in the bath wailing and vomiting for ages. Somehow, she managed to not get a single drop of spew on her dress. That still puzzles me to this day.

A week or so later, we were talking to the people who hosted the night of drunken shame. They said that a few days later, they were cleaning, and found, perched by the shampoo, a single, completely intact pea.

No apologies for length, but we did apologise for having to mash all the peas down the bath plughole.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Sat 9 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)