Orange Lucozade
I had a stomach bug on the day which I came home from my first year of University, and I was shitting and puking every 10 minutes like a hyper Cocker Spaniel. Well, as my parents came to help me move some of my effects, as well as many other like-minded parents, my darling mother bought me some Lucozade of the orange variety. I knew I could only drink it once that my stomach can hold anything other than 10 minutes worth of my own saliva.

During the following evening I decided I was perking up quite nicely, after all it was a 24 hour bug and I knew I'd be shut before long and I was tired of having a vomity toothpastey aftertaste in my mouth [and all through my nose]. I was now eyeing up my newly acquired 1 litre bottle of Lucozade and I knew the drinking of which was imminent. I took the plunge and had about a 1/3 of said bottle in my first sample. After taking the bottle from my lips I felt the Lucozade filling my stomach and settling. After letting out a tremendous belch, I sat back down in my bed and continued watching a DVD of I'm Alan Partridge and drinking my Lucozade feeling very happy with myself that I was getting over my recent ailment and I can indulge in sticky, sugary drinks once again.

A few episodes of the cringe-worthy Alan Partridge later, I began to feel distinctly unsettled in the old stomach region. This began to gradually get worse and I thought I'd stand up, and see if it was because I've been lying on my back for at least 2 hours with a stomach full of sugary liquids. As soon as I stood up I felt the old familiar creeping feeling in the bottom of my stomach and had to bolt for the communal toilets [nb. living in Halls of Residence]. En route to the females toilets [It was a male section of the block, and the toilet always been used by blokes] I began the inevitable vomiting. After leaving a few small puddles I burst into the stall and vomited violently on and off for about 30 seconds until my stomach was nice and empty again. The taste of Orange Lucozade coming up after spending about an hour in your stomach is very much the same as it was going down. Just flatter, warmer and mixed in with a small amount of acids and saliva. It was actually quite pleasant and after a spout of vomiting, your stomach feels so much better.

After a flush of the toilet, I decided I needed to empty myself in another fashion and proceeded to take care of the other runny end due to all the forcing. When I was taking care of my business, the door opened and my heart sank. I was sat on the pot, just with a pair of boxers round my ankles, with a layer of sweat, stinking of hot sick and general illness.. Last thing I wanted to do was talk to someone, and the lads down this block had a general trick of standing on the adjacent toilets seat and have a look over at people doing what-ever needed to be done with their phones ready. Anyway, it appeared to be a lady as I heard her clear her throat and rattle about a bit turning on the taps and reeling out the towel on the machine to dry her hands. It appears she was only washing her hands.. I was relieved as she opened the door on her departure.. And I heard her say, with a hint of shock in her voice, as the door was opened to her assumed spouse "It smells lovely in there! A right citrusy orange!"..

Little did she know, the little puddles on the floor were puke and a matter of feet away was a guy on the pot after bringing up 1 litre of Orange Lucozade shivering like a shiting dog.
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 10:51, 2 replies)

Paragraphs
They make reading easier
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:04, closed)

Everytime I put a paragraph in..
It was right near the end of a line anyway.. It didn't really accentuate it very well. I've added some line breaks to try and break up the story better and to allow for a more fluent read.
Cheers!
(Jon_LTD Treat the world like a head!, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 20:30, closed)