Mostly shit but a little vom in there...
Years ago, my brother came to visit with his 2 children and 2 un house-broken rat terriers. I like dogs and think they should have the dignity of crapping outside like the rest of us, not peeing on "puppypads" tucked into the corner. Especially during a heat wave in July.
My bro knows this and dutifully walked them 3 times a day. After he left, my husband & I went into our guest room (a room 25'x25') and found one of my many hats on the floor. "Hmm, what's this?" I thought. I loved that hat -it was a beautiful chestnut suede fedora with a tiny red feather in the brim that made me look ever so jaunty.

I stuck a toe under the brim and whipped it into the air, being too lazy to bend over. Unbeknownst to my bro, upon leaving one of the dogs had taken a big crap in the middle of the floor and my 9 year old nephew put my hat over it "so's it wouldn't stink up the joint". Thanks, kid.

The smell visibly rolled out and hit us in the face. I merely gagged but Mr. Dub barfed so quick he couldn't open his mouth fast enough and it shot out of his nostrils like dragonfire. I laughed so hard at him I puked and then Mr. D retched and dribbled out bile in response.

It took 3 carpet cleanings to make the room habitable and I had to throw my lovely hat away. There was no salvaging it. That child has grown up and is joining the Air Force in 3 weeks.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 4:05, Reply)