Fosters
When I was younger I could drink any lager except fosters, something in the brew at the time or in my delicate young body did not agree and it resulted without fail in me puking, one pint would do it, so it was attributed to the amber nectar from Australia brewed in the UK. Anyway i was working whilst at college at a supermarket, and at Christmas in those days prior to the doom that is the labour government you had a Christmas party.
That year the supermarket which paid me a handsome sum of £2.31 an hour for 7 hours a week decided to pay for a meal. I stopped fro a pint on the way to the pub where the meal was to take place and had a fosters. One steak and half an ice-cream later the fosters started to take affect, toped with the smoking in front of me, I felt a bit of a rumble and the need to get out of there. Well I almost timed it perfectly to the toilets, all I needed was 5 more metres to the bowl. Putting my hand in front of my mouth in a bid to save the puke making its way up my throat was not the best idea. It was like putting my finger over a running tap, the same flow came out but at a faster velocity and height. the door leading to the toilet was missed the two in the corridor leading to the secondary doors were not so lucky, the door & door handle were equally out of luck, the urinal got a battering as did the sink and the two toilets. The ceiling also fared badly as did the floor. I was as you can imagine not feeling so well, but remarkably I did not have a drop of fosters bile on me. My attempts to clear the sink full with half chewed steak & pepper sauce chunks where met with laughter from my work mates who had followed me at a distance they were so hysterical they were wetting themselves, the only downside to that was they had nowhere to go, as I had tagged the toilets with my un-flushed or splattered puke. The manager was not so happy but he was unaware who had done such a job, my only regret to that night was owning up to the deed, I did however return to my meal and finish my ice-cream I had left half eaten, well I had made room for it and would have been rude not to.
(wobbler, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 20:21, 1 reply)

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(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 21:00, closed)