Primary School, Circa 1978
As a budding young offender, after joining my second Primary Educational Institution, I was quickly accepted into a "cru" (or as we used to refer to them in the 1970's - a gang), and we spent our playtimes and quite a large proportion of our lesson times as well causing havoc for teachers and pupils alike.

One lunch hour we had finished our lunches, and having nothing better to do, and no other children to torment, we decided to put clingfilm over the pans in the girls toilets.

En-route to the kitchen (to get the clingfilm, you understand), we passed the semi-open door to our classroom, and heard some grunting noises emanating from within.

We were too young to expect that our matriarchal infant class teacher was getting plugged by the headmaster, which was lucky because she wasnt.

On investigating, we discovered Christopher Lillicrap (yes, that really was his name) taking a dump in the sandpit. Open mouthed we watched through the crack in the door as he strained out not one, but two enormous christmas logs, wiped his rusty sherrif's badge on his exercise book and hastily covered his work over like a ghastly tomcat, in the hope no-one would find out.
(Vic Flange, Fri 12 Oct 2007, 10:48, Reply)