Camels
Tunisia, the worse place in the world for a holiday. You can't go anywhere without being constantly pestered, groped and stared at. It's a bloody nightmare.

Anyway, story.....

Went to Tunisia with then-boyfriend. It was dreadful, it got to half way through the first week when we realised it was almost impossible to leave the hotel without all the hassle. (I'm not wet or anything, it was just that bad) so we spent a goodly amount of time in our room, shagging to relieve the boredem, as you do.

All the rest of our time was spent in the hotel bar. For those that don't know, Muslims aren't supposed to drink, so alcohol is only reeally licenced in registered tourist places, like hotel bars, as a consequence the bar was usually full of Tunisian men.

Anyway, one night a local man came over to us and offered then-boyfriend 100 camels for me. We were a fairly equitable couple and he just told the man I wasn't his possession and no.

We smiled at the thought of what he would do with 100 camels in our Victorian terrace back home and left it at that.

Later on we went to speak to a couple from Barnsley, who were having just as dreadful a time as we were.

The girl of the couple was well presented, nice make-up, you know, all the usual homogenous attractive stuff for people lacking in imagination, you know the sort I mean? Anyway we got round to talking about the locals in the bar.

She pointed to an elderly gentleman and proclaimed proudly "He offered my fella 17 camels for me"

My ex then said "Someone offered me 100 for her" (pointing at me)

Her face dropped, she obviously couldn't understand why anyone would offer more camels for a big girl who's kind of scruffy and lacking in style over "lovely" her.

We all sat around awkwardly until the passing waiter said, with a smile:
"It's probably because they all saw her copulating on the balcony this morning!"

As you can imagine, the silence was deafening.
(Jugular, Fri 12 Oct 2007, 13:27, Reply)