Robbed.
My first ever holiday abroad without supervision from parents or teachers was certainly a liberating experience. Mrs Greencloud (then 'to be') and I had been together about 6 months or so and felt like reet proper grown-ups going on an all-in jolly in Tenerife together (we were 17 & 18).

The voyeurism part comes in on our first full day there. My better half is a bit of a sun-junkie, so I found out. Following the example set by the middle-aged women thereabouts, she also decided to go topless to avoid the tan-lines. Robbed? How so?

Read between the lines. We were a rather attractive teenage couple, naively marooned on what could have easily provided an alternative setting for that sitcom 'Benidorm'. The Germans even nabbed the sun-beds for fuck's sake!

My girlfriend was a size-8 vision of pert-boobed, bronzed, designer-bikini semi-clad loveliness and all of those grotty old bastards got to perve on her (it DIDN'T go unnoticed, Grrrr!!)while all I got in return was to willfully ignore their hippopotamus-esque, ugly flip-flop wearing, cellulite coated, leather-skinned, jungle-muff'ed, floppy-uddered warthog women. That really boiled my piss!!

Thankfully, the sedative effect of free-flowing alcoholic beverages and smugness of thinking that I'd be screwing her all night (in reality, not quite - bastard sunburn!) while they could only dream about her and fwap away at their wrinkled grey-pubed peckers hiding in the bathrooms from their sweaty-minged wildebeest wives, got me through the week without incident.

Length? 7 nights, all-inclusive.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 12 Oct 2007, 14:13, Reply)