As a guard I have encountered this many times
Funniest and smelliest one was the call for aid being operated, I went to find the door shut but unlocked. I asked the people about if there was anyone in the bog, they all said no, I went in to find an old asian bint with her drawers around her ankles, her sari hoist as high as her tits, and issuing the most malodorous guff you can imagine from her gargantuan arse
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 11:02, Reply)