'I've come here loads of times and nothing has ever happened'
Are the words that you know will jinx an entire evening.

To set the scene I decided that my new girlfriend should meet my mates and I thought a night out in Liverpool would be a good idea. I had it all planned out, we'd go over and have a couple of shandies and then my mates would come out and we'd all have fun and good times. Just to make sure that this was the case I spoke with my mate Ian, he was a custody officer in a central Liverpool nick so he'd know the places to avoid.

He suggested Yates' as the place to meet up early on (to my detriment I never clicked when he said the name) and so we did, however the mix of loud music and nowhere to sit meant that no one could hear anyone else so we left. As we walk out of the door the smallest of us is punched in the head by a scally and he then runs away from said scally.

This young brawler was clearly on drugs as we has 7 stone wet through yes managed to take being pushed away by 2 of the larger lads and then come at me. I took him to the ground and held him down until the police could arrive to take charge. I also had brought my best mate Tom out to meet my new GF, and I thought he'd be there to help me so I took a look around and where was he?

Was he running to the police? Nope.

Was he making sure none of the scally's mates were going to give me a kicking? Nope.

Was he checking on the lad who'd been punched? Nope

Was he chatting up a couple of female reps from one of the bars for free drinks while it's all going off behind him? Well, you can guess the answer! (in his defence they approached him and he did point behind and state that 'we're a bit busy here')

Anyway the bobbies turn up and laddo is promptly arrested and we're allowed to get on with the rest of the night (on a plus note my missus was very impressed with me!).

I managed the same trick 2 weeks later when we went to my local and the whole pub erupted into a massive brawl!

I don't talk about trouble any more.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 31 May 2012, 14:49, 17 replies)

So,
are you saying you do Karate?
(username failed moderation, Thu 31 May 2012, 14:56, closed)

I know...
Kung Fu...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:14, closed)

You missed out the bit where you repeatedly smashed the door of your Accord against his tiny head!
(Amberleaf, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:06, closed)

Take out all references to martial arts here, and this is a perfectly reasonable post
However, with them in it just comes across as a tad boastful.

Seriously though, Yates'? At what point did that seem a good idea?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:14, closed)

It
never crossed my mind at the time...it did afterwards!

Shall I take out martial arts stuff? It wasn't mean to come across as boastful...and I've not posted in ages!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:52, closed)

If you remove this "As I've done a bit of martial arts" it'll be fine, methinks
But this is only my opinion, and you're well within your rights to disagree
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 May 2012, 16:09, closed)

Hey...
I never dismiss advice from an old hand! :)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 31 May 2012, 16:13, closed)

So you regularly get into fights in pubs then.

( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:20, closed)

No
They just seemed to happen after I stated the inherent safety of a place...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 8:19, closed)

Watch it lad
Just mentioning you’ve done martial arts will get you flamed on here.
Actually describing the simple moves you did – asking for trouble!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:27, closed)

Is there
one single branch of Yates' in the whole of Great Britain that isn't a wretched hive of scum and villainy?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:34, closed)

I cant believe you had a friend who said he knew liverpool
and ended up taking you to Yates.

where you went to - next to the bus station, is not the nicest of places. close to matthew street its a good place to avoid, same for concert square, where you can find walkabout etc.

Head to the philharmonic next time, or Dale street area, or if you feel like a posh night - the albert dock.

But never.. never yates.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:51, closed)

We'd
been in the Phil, I loved it there when I was younger!

Never mind that he knew Liverpool, he was meant to know the trouble spots, suffice to say he's never been asked since!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 31 May 2012, 15:54, closed)

Ship & Mitre
Fuck everything else.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 31 May 2012, 16:52, closed)

The Swan
in Wood Street for the excellent beer + Juke box? Or Doctor Duncan's so you can fall asleep in front of the big log fire beat the Ship and Mitre.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 31 May 2012, 17:08, closed)

Over 100 beers though!
100!

Also have a big soft spot for the Baltic near the docks.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 31 May 2012, 19:16, closed)

the swan ftmfw!
they sell black dragon cider and have decent rock and metal playing
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 Jun 2012, 14:29, closed)