I remember the exact moment when I decided I didn't want to work in the foreign press corps
It was when I examined the plaster mouldings in the hotel reception in central Brazzaville to discover they weren't delicate plaster mouldings, and that they were - in fact - very recent rocket-propelled grenade scars. And the red pattern on the marble floor wasn't a red pattern on the marble floor.

Then I had all my kit nicked.

Then I got trapped there for a week in the company of the Congolese army, the wives and girlfriends of the Congolese army, and a Belgian chef.

Then I had to take on hired goons so I could go out and buy clothes and food, before being told by the embassy not to go out and buy clothes and food, and what the fuck was I doing there in the first place?

Then I had to draw my own porn because the shop ran out.

Then I got beaten up and robbed by the militia at the airport (who were subsequently all KILLED TO DEATH, but not by me).

Still, you've gotta laugh
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 17:20, 5 replies)

Could have been worst
You could have not had any paper or pens/pencils, and NO PORN
(retrac fumble in the jungle, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 18:24, closed)

hired goons?!?!

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 19:49, closed)

he meant to say coons.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 20:15, closed)

What do you call a black man with a stutter?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 23:57, closed)

are you kate adie?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 20:14, closed)