My grandfather, the war hero. Ha!
Being a fairly bright sort, my grandfather reached two conclusions in about 1939. The first was that there was likely to be a call-up of able-bodied men into the army, unless they had a reserved occupation.

The second was that owning a shoe-shop did not count as a reserved occupation.

My grandfather had no desire to be drafted into the army. Not one little bit. And he had a brainwave. He would go and volunteer for the RAF before getting drafted into the infantry. At least that way, he'd have some say over what happened to him. Moreover, as the sort of person who was good at tinkering with engines, he'd make splendid ground-crew. That is to say: he'd have little to no chance of being shot in France, shot in Burma, or shot 14000 feet above either.

The RAF was only too happy to help him realise his scheme. In fact, they went one better. At parade one morning, it was announced that people were required to go to Canada to work on engine development. It was also announced that volunteers were being sought.

The combination of not being shot, being paid to fiddle with machinery, and being several thousand miles from any likely theatre of conflict was too good to be true. My grandad volunteered.

Sadly, he hadn't been paying much attention to the syntax. Yes, people were needed to go to Canada to faff with engines. Yes, volunteers were sought. These two facts were not related. My grandfather had just volunteered to go to Malta. And so it was that, thanks to his heroic cowardice,* he spent years having the living bejeezus bombed out of him by the Luftwaffe.**



*I think that cowardice in war is a good thing. It keeps you alive. If only every soldier were a coward, there'd be no wars at all.

**On the up side, he took a decent camera, and turned out to be a rather nifty photographer. Twenty years ago, I found and printed his negs. There was some really good stuff there...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 13:57, 4 replies)

Oh wow!...

This is truly brilliant. I sometimes wonder about the 'heroic' stories I heard about my grandfathers.

Can you upload any pics perchance?

BTW: *clicks*
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:43, closed)

I'll have to have a rummage at home to see whether I've still got any.
The negs had degraded a fair bit in the intervening half-century or so. I'll see if any of the prints are worth scanning in.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:23, closed)

Hmmm.
Ironically, the negs seem to have survived rather better than some of the prints - damn me and my poor technique! - and I seem only to have negs for quite a lot of them. Oh, well.



Also, if anyone in the Manchester area has access to a darkroom, could you give me a yell? It might be fun to see what I can salvage...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:00, closed)

Hurrah!
*clicks*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 15:52, closed)

So staggeringly great...

That I felt the need to log out and in again so I could click it twice.

BTW: - Your point after the first '*' could change the world one day.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 16:26, closed)

This is more like it.
My parents have a photo album, given to them by an old chap they knew, who had taken it from a German prisoner.
It shows lots of photos from the 'other side' including occupied Paris, it's fascinating stuff.
They've since donated it to a museum.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:58, closed)