This gives a depressing insight to my geekiness.
On a bookcase in my bedroom, I have a model Tardis. If you press the button underneath, it makes Tardis noises. But it shouldn't do them any other time. Except that it started doing it when I walked past it sometimes. I assumed it was a warning about the batteries, so I changed them, but it carried on doing it. It started doing it in the middle of the night during the summer, waking me and the girlfriend up (I am shoehorning a reference to the girlfriend in here just to prove that a grown man with a model Tardis can also have a girlfriend. It's rare, but it does happen). I spent ages trying to figure out why it was doing it? Was it movement? Maybe the bookcase wobbled and set it off? Was it the switch set up wrong? I left it switched both 'on' and 'off' and neither made any difference, still at seemingly random times I would just hear the familiar sound that accompanies The Doctors arrival or departure. I eventually took the batteries out and still the noise continued, the fucking thing was haunted. I eventually got sick of waking up on hot summer nights where I was already struggling to sleep because of the noise of the road and the foxes through the open windows, I grumpily got out of bed, snatched it off the bookshelf, marched to the kitchen and threw it in the bin. Pissed off at my loss, but looking forward to some peace and quiet at last I stumbled back to the bedroom, dropped on to the bed. And two minutes later I heard the familar sound again, coming from the bookcase.

utterly freaked out now I went over to have a look, but there was (obviously) nothing there. The sound had stopped, so I convinced myself Imust have imagined it and went back to bed.

When I started to hear Tardis noises as I was pulling a jumper over my head that morning, I left for work trying to convince myself that it was just tiredness, but when I walked back in that evening and heard them again, I knew something wasn't right.

Just before utter madness set in, I spotted the problem. There, on the top shelf, opening and closing just enough in the breeze from the windows or when anyone walked past, was the cardboard insert that made this work: www.sfx.co.uk/2011/04/06/sfx-issue-208/


I did at least, rescue my actual Tardis from the rubbish in time. A quick wipe to get the baked beans off any it's as good as new. And silent.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:24, 4 replies)

You are not the only grown man with a tardis and a girlfriend
I fit that bill too. And I spent yesterday evening making a TARDIS cake for friend's son's birthday: Time And Relative Dimension In Sponge!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:56, closed)

"I am shoehorning a reference to the girlfriend in here just to prove that a grown man with a model Tardis can also have a girlfriend. It's rare, but it does happen"
I personally do not own a model Tardis, but my missus has several :)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:57, closed)

Good story,
but I enjoyed your insecurity more.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:21, closed)

It's my crippling personality disorder shining through.
I can't help it, it's all the people that keep calling me a cunt just because I behave like a cunt. It's not fair I tell you.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:17, closed)