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This is a question Weddings Part II

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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She was black you know. And very nice.
I was invited to a wedding of a friend whose husband was of mixed race. All went well then it came to the speeches and the father of the bride got up just before the wedding breakfast was served (for those of you who have not organised a wedding, for some reason the main meal seems to be wedding breakfast; if you're posh of course)

There were two things that went wrong. He stood up and made a joke about being long-winded which obviously struck a chord with those who knew him. To illustrate the point and add a touch of humour he produced a wad of A4 paper about 30 pages thick. Ho ho, another chuckle from the guests. But no. Those 30 pages were not a joke. They were his prepared speech. Which went on for 45 minutes. 45 minutes! We could see the food people going mental as they obviously wanted to serve. Hunger and despair set in amongst the crowd. Children starting wailing but everyone was very English about it all and persevered to the end.

People were listening though, mostly mouth agog as the FOTB proceeded to demonstrate how much he liked his new son-in-law and was not at all troubled by the fact that his skin was a bit darker than he would ordinarily have liked. Tails of holidays abroad in Kenya followed culminating in a fascinating story about how lovely the maid at their game reserve was. And, "do you know what? She was black too you know."

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:53, 2 replies)
My nan didn't like that fact I married a black gal.
Only after she died was I told that she had said,'My first grandchild was a bastard so I don't want the second to be a nigger.'

She died this year, the old cunt.
(, Sun 9 Nov 2014, 14:02, closed)
Dont you just love the older generation's casual racism
Less casual on the part your nan though.

The father of the bride at the wedding I went to was more of the 'not comfortable about anyone who might not be able to join my golf club regardless of whether they were black or a plumber but I'm just trying really hard to show that I'm down this kind of thing (although it wouldn't happen in my day)' kind of a chap.

The groom also went on at length about a mutual female friend in his speech. Perhaps a bit too much for the listeners' liking...
(, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 10:30, closed)

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