Okay, this is my first (and likely my last) serious answer for the QOTW.
My high school, situated in the arse-end of nowhere, had no shortage of weird kids. The most memorable one was Peter (aka Poiteeh, Poyning, Bewgle, Fewgle etc.) - his dad was our RE teacher one year, and was an excellent teacher, had a great sense of humour and was an all-round top bloke. Peter, on the other hand, was a funny little bugger and no mistake. Pasty-faced, with jamjar glasses, sloping shoulders and a tendency to wander around with one hand in his pocket and a creepy blank grin perpetually stuck on his phizzog, his social ineptitude was matched only by his apparent geniusness (is that even a proper word?) which apparently ran in the family, as his little sister was a slightly less inept but no less fucking creepy maths genius who was moved up year at her primary school and was regarded by many of the teachers as some kind of Übermensch.
   Despite his apparently terminal nerdiness, little Peter could be quite a vicious fighter, as people who picked on him rapidly found out; so after the first two years, attempts were rarely made to antagonise him. Highlights of the 5 years I spent in the same form as him include the time he splattered tippex all over his face in a fit of chronic Beadlehandedness and had to be taken to hospital (he was subsequently known as Cumface), the time he hit on a girl in such a cringingly horrendous fashion that she became a lesbian, and the times he tried to fit in better by pretending he had a sense of humour; he did this by telling long jokes, usually at completely inappropriate times like when we were in a PE lesson getting berated by the teacher.
   The last I'd heard of him was that he'd got straight 'A's in his A-levels (as did I, albeit in completely different subjects) and went to Manchester to study law. This seems somehow appropriate. I personally think that in 10 years' time he'll either be a successful legal vulture, earning his money by forcing poor families to give up their life savings to fight losing battles against rapacious bailiffs, or he'll be a prolific serial killer and will be awaiting a life sentence for murdering prostitutes.

And if he's reading this now and considers suing me for revealing what a weird little kid he was (and likely still is), I have just one message for him: FUCK YOU UP YOUR DAD'S SHIT PIPE.
( FUCK OFF, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 20:31, Reply)