And another...
There was 2 brothers, one in the year above me, we'll call him B, and one in the year below who we'll call C (for Cunt). The one in the year below was the topmost bastard in my school and was basically just an argumentative little twat. It was no surprise when he started hanging about the ned (chav) crowd which included a guy who sellotaped his cock to that of another guy, a guy who used to stand up, take his tweeds down, point his arse at the teacher and fart and two girls whom we all knew could suck-start a combine harvester. Needless to say, he fitted like a glove. He was also as thick as Irish cement, leaving school with a sum total of fuck-all qualifications.

His brother in the year above me on the other hand was quite quiet and generally never bothered anyone. He was also, however, as slow as a week in Cleethorpes. Added to this though, he was also freakishly strong despite looking like a light breeze would break him. Both brothers were frequently reminded just how dim they were by everyone in the school, even the primary school kids.

So anyway, C is tooling about with his chav pals one day just after school kicked out and they decide to do something typically useless like setting fire to a bin. B is close to hand as always and the chav element are confronted by the pissed off owner of said rubbish recepticle and by sheer happenstance, C gets collared by this bloke, who was no midget. B takes great exception and swings a punch at the chap. Not only did he knock the guy out cold, but broke his jaw and caused bleeding inside his cranial cavity due to the fall. We all saw this (it was approx 100 yards from the front gates of the school) and so police and ambulances were called. B got arrested for GBH and C got off scot-free. Last I heard, B had been committed to the loony bin for a fairly extended length of time, and C had just bought a flat with all his hard earned drug money. All this from the school which was voted the best in Scotland 3 years running...

There was also a guy who claimed to have shagged a girl up the arse and found a bit of sweetcorn under his foreskin. Oh, you've already heard that one...
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Wed 24 Jan 2007, 9:34, Reply)