This is a local pub for local people.
For the background to this, you need to know that I'm not allowed to play Trivial Pursuit because I have a nasty habit of winning before any other player gets started.

Out on the piss one night with friends, it's suggested that we go back to theirs for a Chinese. The Chinese tell us it'll be a good 40 minutes, so we pop over the road for a last pint. A quiz sheet is being handed round, so I grabbed it, filled it in, chucked it in the pile with a quid entry fee, and forget about it, being by that time fairly arseholed.

"Mr. Scars has won! Would Mr. Scars please collect his prize from the bar!" I stood up, and I realised 2 things: the pub was silent, and every single one of the Fenland mouthbreathers therein was looking at me.

My friend, who was also my boss, murmured "Go and get it, while they're still in shock. Then go straight back to the house, and run."

A case of white wine, one of those Milk Trays the size of a family bible and a £20 note. I got out of the door just before the first glass was thrown.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 22:51, 2 replies)

lucky you made it or your username would have to change
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 23:19, closed)

Where the fuck were you
when I needed to know Harold 'Fucking' MacMillan's real first name?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 23:32, closed)