On Saturday night.
Me and Mrs SLVA had been out on the sauce, and when we got off the bus near our house, she said to me. "First one undressed and into bed gets oral sex off the other". So off we ran, she took her shoes off to run quicker. She ran around to the front gate, whereas I vaulted over the fence at the side of the garden. However, I fell over and landed on my keys. She got to the door first, but couldn't find her keys, so I hobbled around to the back gate, climbed over like a man who'd just given himself a dead-leg from his keys, and let myself in. I ran upstairs, but when I heard she hadn't come in yet, I went back down to let her in. She wasn't there. I went out into the garden and then to the gate to see if she was out there, but she wasn't.
Then I heard the door slam. The little sod had been hiding behind the bin waiting for me to come outside looking for her. When I got back in, she was upstairs in bed. I was in serious need of a pee by then though, so I went into the bathroom and then had a quick wash and brushed my teeth. By the time I went into the bedroom, she was fast asleep.
I suppose I won in a way, but it cost me a large bruise on my thigh.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 4 May 2011, 18:17, 3 replies)

God help
the world if you two decide to breed.
(username failed moderation, Thu 5 May 2011, 10:36, closed)

Personally, I think the world would be a better place if more people were like this :)
*clicks*

That's the sort of thing Jess & I used to do... although not quite as competitively, as we both secretly didn't want to beat each other :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 5 May 2011, 14:57, closed)

Actually it
all sounds rather hilarious.

On the other hand, I'm struggling to see what the problem was with the wife falling asleep. She can breathe through her nose, can't she?



Everything I have heard about Jess makes me feel sad for you Prof. I do admire your attitude towards it though. You;re getting ir right, I reckon.
(username failed moderation, Thu 5 May 2011, 17:08, closed)