I want to make, like, a billion fucking pounds
But not for the most obvious of reasons. Oh no, this is all about the deathbed prank.

I'm sure there will be other benefits to being a billionaire, like spending it, but I'm determined that my last act on this earth will be one that makes me giggle. A man's gotta go happy. The plan follows thusly;

If I'm that rich, it stands to reason that I can command a sizeable crowd when I'm about to shuffle off the mortal coil. Friends, family, lackeys, employees, basically anyone hoping to feature in the will. They'll all be there hoping for a handout, drunk on the intociating stench of money about to pass into new hands. When my time comes, I'll beckon them all sliiiiiightly closer, and croak "Do you wish to know my secret?"

It'll be like an unnerving collection of nodding dogs. "Come closer...", I will proclaim.

"I... raped a 9-year-old girl..."

As they all recoil in horror and disgust, I will utter the last words of my life.

"What? I never said WHICH secret I was going to tell you..."
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:48, 2 replies)

I don't know whether to laugh at this
or be flabbergasted.

Perhaps both.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:46, closed)

Ummmm, what the fucking fuck?? Seriously. That's not in the slightest bit funny you creepy weirdo.
( user_names_suck, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 21:54, closed)