Taking the title literally perhaps...
I'd like to think that before I properly expired (assuming it was from old age) that I'd make sure I was clean and had used the loo. That way when the nurses have to clean me away it's a little less unpleasant.

Oh and perhaps have a meal entirely composed of fat.
(chuckle_h0und You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 1:35, 5 replies)

Is
a dead person's shit more unpleasant than a live person's shit? Nurses clean up shit day in day out, I doubt they care, it comes with the territory. Probably wouldn't bother cleaning you anyway, just tip you onto a trolley, into a basket with the shitty sheets, send you off to the slab, let them deal with it. Next.

I'd rather pinch the most unfeasibly large and smelly loaf known to man, a monumental stool which would shock and awe, a ward evacuation dump, just so that on message boards and in quiet moments in the canteen, those who witnessed it would say "Fucking hell, remember that old git who did that MAAAASSIVE shit?"
I'll be remembered for nothing else
(Rsoles, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 8:29, closed)

You've shown me the light!

I'll start saving up my ass goblins now :)
(chuckle_h0und You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 13:42, closed)

Since not defecating will kill you,
you're sort of taking care of two things at once there.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 17 Oct 2010, 15:58, closed)

Efficiency win!

(chuckle_h0und You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 0:26, closed)

Dignity
that's what you're talking about. Most elderly patients are more concerned about their dignity than about death or pain. Perhaps, Lord forbid, you're growing up! ; )
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 11:49, closed)