Apologies for lack of teh funnezs
There used to be several things I wanted to do before I die, I mostly sorted them out into: Sexual Fantasies & Life Aims. However in recent years there has been one thing I want to do before I pop teh cork...

Bit o' back story first. My relationship with my parents has always been rocky, very rocky. When I was younger my siblings and myself were often left alone/neglected and had to make do, when I got into my teens I was still left alone but had better coping skills. Now that I'm an adult (apparently, don't feel like an adult...) here comes the guilt tripping.

"Oh, we never SEE you!", "Oh, you don't CARE about us! We don't mean anything to YOU!" etc. ad nauseum

What I would love to do is to tell both my parents how much I resent and at times hate them for what they did to me when I was a kid.

- Having being left alone for days on end as they were out on the lash with no food and no money in the house. (I was 10)

- Having to sleep in a bedroom with 6 other people (including two mad lesbians, my mums sister...) because my mum decided we needed to do a mid-night flip to get away from my dad. (I was 12)

- My dad treating me like a pile of dog-shit on his shoes because I wasn't the perfect son he'd wanted. (Birth till today, when someone has a new baby boy just to replace you... Puts you into perspective)

I'd love to sit them both down (well, tie them down actually, go-go bondage tape) and just talk at them for a good hour or so and let that resentment out. However the bugger of the situation is dispite the crap that they put me and my siblings through, I still can't find it in my heart to hate them. They're just two very, very fucked up individuals who in my honest opinion shouldn't have had kids and shouldn't have gotten married.

So here is my dilema, the one thing I want to do before I die is tell them how fucked up I feel because of their upbringing yet by doing so will I do anything other than further alienate and upset them?

Pissflaps.

(Further information on sexy-sexy life aims will be put in replies if people are really that interested, group public sex features a few times...)
(Helo, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 13:21, 8 replies)

Tell them.
Only without the tying-up, and without the expectation that it will automatically do anything except make you feel momentarily better.

It will make them feel bad, which will (it sound like) in turn make you feel bad, but it may*, eventually, make you all develop some respect for one another.

*It may not - that's the bugger about the urge for "closure", it very rarely leads to "closure" and more often causes yet another shitstorm. The proverb "let sleeping dogs lie" doesn't apply only to somnolent canids for a reason.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 13:35, closed)

Tell them.
You've had this resentment towards them burning away inside you for a long time.

As for the guilt tripping, agree with it and tell them why you 'never go to see them' and just how much you 'don't care'. Do it in a public place, if you can be sure they'll not kick off, so you can all say your piece and listen to each other without the tears and shouting.

It worked for me and I'm now closer to my mum than I ever have been. I did end up breaking my dad's nose though but they separated when I was 4 and it was on an 'access visit' that I didn't agree to. He hit me so I hit him back. Not spoken since. Happyness all round there! :)
(WeeJen, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 13:57, closed)

Or
Paint their faces onto two balloons (wigs are optional), roleplay the argument, and, at the end, pop the balloons as aggressively as you want.

People normally have to pay for this level of psychological advice, you know *cough cough* *subtly extends hand*
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 14:53, closed)

If they are human
doing this will not alienate them. It might make them go quiet for a week or so.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 15:35, closed)

I know that tune
Feel the same way about my dad and how he treats me these days. Have considered not telling him where I've gone when I move house (which will if plans come to fruition be happening in a few years) and just cutting him out of my life entirely. Better that than feel the way I do now. Only thing that stops me is that I have a little sister, who is eight, and my dad and step mum are so twisted that they would likely tell her I'd deliberately abandoned HER, not them. And although she is why my dad treats me like dirt (I have been "replaced") I love her and it's not her fault our daddy's a wanker.
Let us know if you ever do tell em. Would like to hope it would work out for you if you did.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 16:06, closed)

I did that to my Dad.
I was nothing to him until after I moved out of the house. He used to be physically and emotionally abusive to me(not my siblings, just me). He constantly told me I was a letdown, a mistake, he should've had a blowjob instead, etc. After I moved out, he started acting like a dad. It took years and many attempts and arguments, but we worked everything out. Now he's an awesome grandad to my kids and that makes me all the happier.
It takes a lot of effort, courage, and testicular fortitude but it will work.

Good luck.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 16:24, closed)

I didn't go through anything like you have
but my relationship with my parents has always been a bit rocky, despite them actually being pretty good parents (weird, I know!) and after counselling I finally opened up to them about how I felt. Things have got better, I've stopped having panic attacks, and I figured that even though things went wrong me talking to them meant I loved them enough to try and make things better. Good luck mate.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 23:07, closed)

Cheers all
Thanks for the b3ta-esque support, it's very difficult to want to speak to them due to all the crap which is in the past. However, as it is in the PAST I keep telling myself to do something about it.

Again, big thanks for all the support.
(Helo, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 13:32, closed)