Paperboys Bike Stolen!
My older brother was a die hard paper boy. He took on the local free paper round and championed it. It was the hardest and longest round in the town which took 4 hours to do. Nothing would stop him, no viscious dogs, no locked gates. Not even a few muggings or kids from school beating him up. Everybody was sure to get their papers on Friday evenings.
No one but him would go to the efforts and courage to deliver papers up the black hill. He was held as legend, an icon that no one could beat.

After many years, the time came for him to move on. He went up in the world to become a morning newsagents paperboy. More money, much less papers and better clients.

After years of hammer, his bike could take no more and started to fall to bits. So he ended up using my bike whilst waiting for Santa to bring him a new one. He was on the stern promise that he would have it back to me before I needed to ride it to school.

One morning, I'm barely awake when he bursts into the bedroom in a fit of panic "SOME BASTARDS NICKED YER BIKE!!!!" errr what!!?

Seems he was in the middle of his paper round when he badly needed a piss. So put the bike down next to some woods, and went in there for a minute to relieve himself. Out he comes and the bike's gone. Would you believe it? 7am in a quiet area for just a minute or so and someone had off with it!!! Unbelievable!!

My mum reports the crime to the police. Who incredibly phone back 15 minutes later to say that they think the bike has been found! Off we went to someones house. To a lovely elderly couple. They had found the bike whilst walking their dog that morning.

It was all smiles and grattitude and lovely, Until I asked where they found it.... You know where this going don't you? "Oh yes dear, it was abandoned next to the woods."

Doh!

Un-phased by these dramatic events, My brother continued his paper round for many years to come. To this day, his pictures and monuments are still up in the newsagents. And at the local free papers office they have a little museum dedicated to him.

The town observed a minutes silence when he retired. But he did have to go to University at some point. He did his last round on the morning he left for Uni.

Had he have not taken so long over his peeing, he would have witnessed two OAPs nicking his bike!

Length. 7 years and about 80,000 papers delivered. What a legend!
(Miggyman, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 15:21, Reply)