Why I call myself Big-girls-blouse.
Nearest I ever got to an assault was when in Coventry walking back from a night out with my bestest friend. We were drunkenly traipsing home around the grotty streets of said city when I jokingly picked up a glass bottle and told my pal that we'd be ok this night as I had a leathal weapon to save us.

A little further on we saw a drunk chappie swerving towards us and gripping the bottle I grabbed my pals arm and we both sped up past him with no bother noticing the damp patch around his groin area were he had wet himself.

We laughed at the thought of this guy overcoming two strapping gals like us and carried on our journey. We were just coming to the end of the street with me a few steps in front of my pal when who should appear but the same guy who had passed us earlier. He stumbled past me and grabbed my friend and pushed her against the wall and as I turned round to see him push her I dropped the bottle and stood there doing nothing and shaking like a leaf while she got on with the job of twatting him. (She used to be a biker, so wasn't a wuss like me). After he ran away as quickly as a drunk and battered dickhead can run she looked at me and shook her head while I apologized profusely and just shrugged my shoulders.

She got her own back in the end by moving to New Zealand and having a wonderful life while I stayed in England and sulked.


(But she's coming to see me at Easter, yay).
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:24, 7 replies)

I find it very difficult to believe...

That any such twatty scuzzbuckets could exist in the idyllic utopia of Coventry...

Oh, hang on a minute...piss stained pants...drunken idiot...it wasn't me, was it?

Sorry kitten. Pass my apologies on to your friend.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:38, closed)

I know it wasn't you pooflake...
at the time of the incident you would have been 13 years old : )

And don't worry about my pal, she's the one from Nuneaton.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:40, closed)

Just curious
but if you live in Coventry, where do you get sent to when people are ignoring you?

Have a fab time with your friend at Easter!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:43, closed)

^^
Pooflake should answer this as I no longer live in Coventry. I went to uni there and this incident happened a long time ago.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 20:45, closed)

A couple of things...
1. Even when I was 13 I was a drunken dickhead with piss-stains in his pants.

2. Will I be seeing your pal when Captain Placid and I go on our 'Let's ruin Nuneaton' tour with your good self? If so, please pre-warn her about what I am like...and provide suitable blindfolds and earplugs.

3. Theweewitch...When you live in Coventry, that's as bad as it can possibly get, so everybody ignores me as par for the course anyway.

Which is nice...when you're in a band.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 14 Feb 2008, 21:11, closed)

Hurray
for the verb "to twat" :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 21:56, closed)

Anna perchance?
Her name wasn't anna by any chance was it? If so I know her well!
(Chevron71 is oscillating wildly...., Sat 16 Feb 2008, 23:24, closed)