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This is a question I witnessed a crime

Freddy Woo writes, "A group of us once staggered home so insensible with drink that we failed to notice someone being killed and buried in a shallow grave not more than 50 yards away. A crime unsolved to this day."

Have you witnessed a crime and done bugger all about it? Or are you a have-a-go hero?
Whatever. Tell us about it...

(, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 11:53)
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It's been a long day
It were a rainy winter day and I'd caught a particularly bad bought of food-poisoning. Being the stoic hunk of a man that I am though, I decided to go into work anyway.

We'd been surveying a building due to be demolished the next day and I'd had to go back because I'd stupidly left my mobile there on the second floor.

When I arrived though, the ominous gut rumblings started. I was helpless: resistance was futile. This was coming out, and I didn't fancy facing the pants-pocolypse that would result if I didn't do something.

"Well" I thought "The building is due to be demolished anyway..."

They'd left a bucket to collect debris from a full-length window cavity they'd recently de-windowed, so I thought I'd be vaguely civilized and use it to deposit my own "debris". I even had a tissue in my pocket to wipe myself up with afterwards!

My bowel barrage was finished and the crisis was averted. Unfortunately, I became a bit too confident and whilst doing my "yay I didn't project shit all down my clothes" dance I knocked the bucket through the empty cavity and into the street below.


Peering timidly over, I saw that whilst the bucket had landed safely on the pavement, it's contents had exited mid-flight, and found a new home on a black-and-white dressed street performer. To make matters worse, the rain spread it right down as he could only look on in his characteristic silence. He was now covered in the shit and debris, it had formed another layer over his clothing like a giant three-piece shit suit with a building debris finish.

That's right, I shit-dressed a mime.

I'm so sorry. Someone had to try a pun...
(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 14:52, 5 replies)
A bit early
but I couldn't help but chuckle. Quite a good pun as well, especially given the tricky subject matter. click from me.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 15:01, closed)
I'm still hoping it's true
fucking mimes

I'll shut you in a fucking box you silent bastard

(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 15:18, closed)
Truly, truly awful!

I like it!!
(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 15:46, closed)
You hideous bastard
Okay, I DID chuckle, but good Lord, oh the horror....the horror...

how DOES one ignore one?


Cheers and have a great weekend!

(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 16:58, closed)
I like this story because it enTAILS poo ;o)
BTW, did you know that Al Jolsen used to get terribly nervous before a stage perfomance? Poor chap suffered severe palpitations, shortness of breath, excessive perspiration...

Reckon it was Pre-Minstrel Tension!

Davros' Granddad made that one up.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 18:34, closed)

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