2 Am
Lying in bed one Friday night, thinking about how much insomnia sucks, I heard voices from the car park outside.
Since the local yoof had taken to casual vandalism of late I had a pretty good idea what I would see when I looked through the curtains.
Yep. There they were, about five of the local scrotes clustered around the bonnet of my father's car, trying to prise off the badge.
Now as to why they wanted a Citroen badge I have no idea. Why do they wear those stupid sideways hats and listen to music that sounds like cutlery in a washing machine? Beats me.
Anyway I flung open my window and bellowed "Piss off out of it yer little bastards" and they scattered like cockroaches.
Now this is where I did something very, very silly.
It occurred to me that they might be hiding round the corner and come back to lob a brick through my window so I armed myself with a baseball bat, pulled on my slippers and went for a bit of a wander.
Did I mention that it was November? And that I was only wearing a t-shirt and trackies?
Ten minutes later I'd scuttled back home, absofuckinglutely freezing and proceeded to have a minor panic attack when I realised exactly how much trouble I could have got myself into.
I've had a go at being a vigilante. It wasn't very clever. and I froze my knackers off
(Big D, Sun 17 Feb 2008, 18:52, Reply)