Why I love my town's cops
This is one of my favorite stories actually
and why I have the utmost respect of those upstanding gentlemen known as the Stratford, Connecticut police force
So me and my friend, mildly buzzed, at, ohh, guessing about 4 or 5 PM, being the lazy good for nothings that we are, went off to see a movie, Casino Royal I think it was, anyway, we see the movie, its all well and good, my friend the kid who plays poker for a living is yelling about the film and I'm feigning interest, while we get to a major intersection in our town, cross the street, continue walking, when all of a sudden, Black SUV license plate _ _ _ - UFO (can't believe I remember that much) comes up to the stoplight, we then see the door being kicked open and a woman screaming for help, her legs kicking out of the door, in fact, she dropped a sneaker in the middle of the street, two male voices saying something along the lines of "shut your mouth you wench, close the door good chap" although my memory is a bit hazy, slamming the door shut with the muffled screams of the woman still being heard, and then running the red light and making a left.
My friend and I just stare at each other and begin repeating the license plate over to ourselves, so we wouldn't forget, while he started dialing the cops, however, I saw the reason that she did this further down the road, there were three cop cars positioned at the other corner, so, thinking they might be a much faster help, we ran over. Now heres where it gets a bit surreal, we walk over to the first cop, big balding man who looks like hes pregnant with a full keg of beer, who, upon hearing that we've just witnessed a kidnapping, interrupts and says in a very calm and matter-of-fact way, "well...I'm going to the bar...but you can ask that guy"
So, we go to the second cop, who is sitting in his car, who promptly rolls up his window and speeds off with us looking bewildered.
The third cop, a young guy, heard us out at least, took no notes, and then told us he'd "look into it"
still no idea what happened, never heard anything else about it, all I know is that that shoe was on the side of the road for quite a few weeks afterwards. and the cops in my town are useless save for breaking up parties.
"I'm going to the bar"
that line will stay with me for a long time...
( Arsonade is saving up for a new box of hummus, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 6:20, 1 reply)

Stratford, no shit
I'm from Stratford also. The balding first cop sounds like my sons old baseball coach. Did he say "whats up chief?" or something like that?

For the most part I don't mind the stratford cops, they don't seem to have issues with going 10mph or more over the limit, the one ticket I got from them got dismissed in court so I can't complain.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 15:06, closed)