I wasn't trying to steal anything, officer...
This is tenuous to say the least, but humour me, please...My work collegue is annoying the fuck out of me. You know me, I'm a calm, rational person, not given to outbursts of uncontrolled rage, but this week...

So in a bid to be new improved "all growed up" Rakky, I decided to find a useful outlet for my ire. Instead of a bottle of fizzy and a pack of Marlboro to numb the pain, I went for a run. Popped my stuff in a locker at the gym, put on some nasty dance music and spent 30 minutes trying to blank out the image I had of me beating her head to a bloody pulp by smacking it repeatedly against the centrifuge.

Duly worn out from my exercise, I return to my locker to get my clothes. It has one of those combination padlocks that all Americans know how to open from birth, but that confuse the bejeesus out of anyone else. I spin one way, then the other, twist and pull and... nothing. I repeat, with the same effect.

I'm getting worried. It's -20C outside, my coat and keys are in this damn locker. Huffing and swearing, I spy a member of gym staff. I explain my predicament and we both try once more to get the reticent padlock to budge. We've tried forcing it, cajoling it, all to no avail. We're discussing getting a crowbar to break the lock off when a voice behind me exclaims "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I turn and see an irate student. She pushes me out of the way, spins the lock and amazingly, it opens first time.

It wasn't my locker.

I've decided to manage my stress in future through the time honoured technique of chocolate, coffee and Vicodin.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 21:51, 9 replies)

I say, "fuck being a grown-up!"
PLEEEEZ Rakky, stay as you are! Being grown up is no fun at all - I tried it briefly and gave it up as a bad job (I'm 39). Fizz is low fat, as are Marlboro honey. An American survey (can't remember by whom it was conducted, only that it took 5 years and cost very many dollars) deduced that by far the best stress-reliever was a combination of beer & fags. As in ciggies coz fags are something else in The States ;o)

Fab story, beautifully told..

*feckin click*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 23:05, closed)

Growing up
is not worth it, I know. I thought it would be kinder to my blood pressure to do some excersise rather than throw yet another litre of Chandon Blush down my neck.

My irritating collegue has just left for the day. I actually feel physically better when she goes. Well, I have just taken another Vicodin, that may explain a lot...
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 23:27, closed)

Prozac
Is also damn good for making one not donate a faecal lump xxx

I like you :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 23:41, closed)

You're not so bad yourself
:)
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 0:32, closed)

"smacking it repeatedly against the centrifuge"
*click* - I like this phrase. Only in scientific circles would such retribution be considered!

And I suppose someone told you it was -4°F outside, and you had to translate into Celsius before it made any sense? Damn Americans and their system of units (which ironically they refer to as 'English').
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 9:34, closed)

The best thing for stress is a bloody good shag...
This is why I twitch and bang my head on the desk far too many times in the day.


Ah well!
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 9:42, closed)

so...
what's irritating about the colleague? Please tell all!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 10:23, closed)

.
I too have an irritating colleague. I am currently seeking employment elsewhere as she is so irritating and I have to share an office with her. The concept of being quiet is unknown to her and a subtle hint is never going to be noticed. Should I tell her? I don't need a fecking running commentary on what you are doing and no not every slightly odd name is hilariously funny. If I didn't laugh at your joke then no it wasn't funny and you explaining it several times and asking me again if it was funny will not make it so........
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 12:05, closed)

@K2k6
Actually, while I was over in your fair country I was bewildered by the variety of units being used- liters, miles, stones, all thrown together in a weird mishmash that kept me doing a lot of mental mathematics.

As an engineering student I learned (and became very familiar with) the metric system as well as the Imperial system. I can't really say that one is inherently superior to the other, but converting between them is a bitch.

The Farenheit scale, by the way, was invented by a drunk. He decided that 0 should be the freezing point of water- and chose seawater rather than fresh. He also decided that 100 should be body temperature- but as he was a heavy drinker, his normal body temperature was a bit elevated, which is why normal temperature for humans is 98.6F.

(/pedant)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 21 Feb 2008, 13:18, closed)