Various crimes of differing seriousnesses
Man chasing another man and subsequently scaring the shit out of him due to wielding a chainsaw at the time (albeit only witnessed on the news...but it was next to my college where I went every day at the time)(Lincoln)
Twunt threatening man in the street with large knife...sidestepped that one thankfully (Nottingham)
(also Nottingham) My brother got mugged and his chin slashed - in his own car
(again Nottingham) Skip outside my brother's house set alight....he thought all the banging and crashing noises were the binmen....at 3am...
Wanktards setting fire to telegraph pole next to our flat via mattresses and wheelie bins (Sheffield)
Having one arsehole jump on my back and get to me the floor to allow him and his mates to give me a good kicking for no reason whatsoever (to my credit, I held onto the bag of crisps I was eating at the time throughout, and miraculously they remained intact) (Sheffield again)
Various thefts back home due to general bastardry, including (at school) a lad wanting to take a look at my watch, then taking it and putting it in his pocket in full view and then deny ever having seen it....tithead.
Many more but I can't be arsed.
Length, girth and whatnot, use your imagination.
(Robbish is twitching & salivating like with myxomatosis, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 1:35, 3 replies)

you can take my dignity, but you'll never take my crisps!
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 1:51, closed)

Darn tooting
They were far too nice to relinquish to some knobhead attack!
(Robbish is twitching & salivating like with myxomatosis, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 2:08, closed)

wielding a chainsaw
well, if you're going to chase someone, might as well go all out.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 21 Feb 2008, 2:41, closed)