I witnessed a crimeFreddy Woo writes, "A group of us once staggered home so insensible with drink that we failed to notice someone being killed and buried in a shallow grave not more than 50 yards away. A crime unsolved to this day."
Have you witnessed a crime and done bugger all about it? Or are you a have-a-go hero?
Whatever. Tell us about it...
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chthonic, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 11:53)
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Not only witnessed, but foiled alsoIn the course of my duties as a barman, I noticed that a gentleman had been nursing the same pint for some time. Not only that, but the pint still had a head on it. Then I realised that I'd turned my back on the jakey* bastard at some point and he'd leant over the bar to top up his pint from the tap.
At this point, I could've just got a manager to throw him and his 3 remaining teeth out the building. However, having not served anyone for hours sent my brain into overdrive for cruel pranks. When Jimmy-No-Teeth next averted his eyes from the sacred beer pumps, I removed the nozzle from the one he'd been using.
For those of you not in the know, this is the equivalent to putting your thumb over the end of a hose. Think of it as using a garden sprinkler to fill up an iron.
Result: punter gets soaked, embarrassed and booted. I did have to clean it up, but I think it was worth it.
*If not familiar with Scottish colloquialisms, replace 'jakey' with 'pikey' for similar effect and great justice.
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Iki I think my camel is dead., Thu 21 Feb 2008, 12:50,
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