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This is a question Workplace Boredom

There's got to be more to your working day than loafing around the internet, says tfi049113. How do you fill those long, empty desperate hours?

(, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 12:18)
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Tantric Wanking
Occasionally I have to travel from the Midlands where I'm based down to big ol' London Town for work. On every single occasion this will mean that I spend a great deal of time waiting, either for the train to get into London, or hanging around in small siderooms while clients potter around ignoring me.

I've subsequently learned to always take a book and my phone charger, but for the first few occasions I had nothing but my own imagination to keep me entertained.

As a result, I attempted to teach myself how to masturbate without touching or rubbing. Thus, the mythical goal of Tantric Wanking was set.

I tried thinking of hot ladies i'd like to donate my throbbing gristle to, and pictured them on their knees begging for me. Oh, what's that Eliza Dushku? You want to join in? Hop on love!

Sadly, despite an uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing trouser tent, after half an hour I still hadn't progressed to the hallowed ignition sequence. I tried breathing techniques, I ran through the entire catalogue of lovelies who are forever trapped inside my spankbank, but I couldn't get the spice to flow. By now the mental harem were getting angry, demanding their sticky gift, and I had to admit defeat.

Deflated, I tried to work out why the goal seemed just out of reach, but then thought I'd been lucky to escape spluffing in my pants while at work.

I still had time to kill, so I began to wonder how my life would change if I had been successful. I dreamed of one day mastering the art, and through repetition and focusing (and maybe a Karate Kid montage), I could learn to project this power upon other people. I could, theortically, develop the awesome superpower to give orgasms to people purely on a whim!

I pictured myself making beautiful ladies experience soul-flaring orgasms simply by winking at them. How popular would I be?!

As is par for the course, I then wondered how I could use this fantastic gift to rob banks. In the end I settled on the idea of causing all the staff and security to be paralysed by the crashing waves of multiple orgasms, while I raid the safe. I could even be creative, and set off a mexican wave of ejaculation, or head to Wembley Stadium on match day and see if I can recreate a Las Vegas fountain display.

The possibilities were endless! If only I could crest that wave in myself, I could be a God.
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:29, 8 replies)
let us know if you succeed
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:54, closed)
Oh I will
The whole world will know...
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:56, closed)
Women can do tantric wanking aided by a little wiggling in a certain way when seated.
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 13:00, closed)
You see, I'd class that as cheating, as it involves rubbing or other such physical contact.

I'm also jealous.
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 13:03, closed)
Careful now!
I was going commando in tight jeans on the bus one day, in heavy traffic. The engine idling made the bus vibrate in a very intense manner.. Only really embarrassing when the little old lady next to me asked if I was OK, 'cos I looked "a bit flushed and clammy",I may have whimpered a bit as well...
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 13:40, closed)
This is why a friend of mine chooses to sit over the wheel arch of any bus she gets on.

Edit: Love the Bill Hicks quote in your sig!
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 13:42, closed)
thank you! :-)
So her eyesight's not been affected then? That was my worry, and my tendency to flap about a bit.More self discipline required, perhaps..
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 13:51, closed)
Not that I'm aware of
Although she claims to have bitten her lower lip rather too hard and drawn blood.
(, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 13:53, closed)

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