Failed ProjectsYou start off with the best of intentions, but through raging incompetence, ineptitude or the plain fact that you're working in IT, things go terribly wrong and there's hell to pay. Tell us about the epic failures that have brought big ideas to their knees. Or just blame someone else.
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:19)
« Go Back
The man down the corner shopWatching The Family recently on Channel 4 has reminded me of Mo. He is very much the archetypal oddball foreigner and consistently manages to associate himself with the worst kind of comically bad ideas.
Our local corner shop, before he took over, used to sell the usual - newspapers, chocolate and fags to 14-year old schoolkids. Now it seems to be jam-packed full of souvenirs, china and other over-priced bric-a-brac. Apparently, this is what all corner shops sell where he comes from. I've never seen him make a single sale.
That's not the least of it, though. Mo's comic attempts to be a middle-class businessman are routinely hilarious. He has a terrible, gruff middle-eastern accent like the chap out of Indiana Jones, and hearing him croak out: "Good afternoon, sah! How delighted I am to see you" is worthy of the price of 20 Lambert & Butler alone. He attends Rotary Club functions and the local bridge club in an attempt to be more British. I can't work out whether it's an ingratiating attempt to be local or some sort of bizarre inverse racism.
Mo's most notorious lunacy is as a conspiracy theorist. He's convinced the whole world is out to get him, that there are aliens at Roswell and that the Royal Family are a gigantic puppet of the capitalist west. That last bit might be possibly true. His son was tragically killed in a car crash a few years ago; rather than mourning him, he spent ages in the attic trying to prove that the Secret Services did it.
His latest bout of nuttiness was taking over the local football team. Well, in fairness to him, he did manage to push them up to the top of the local league pyramid, but going around proclaiming them as the next Manchester United just sent the regulars at the golf club bar into hysterics.
I suppose it was just the latest in a long series of Fayed Projects.
(
ousgg is not seeking approval, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 13:54,
5 replies)
You had meUntil "Was tragically killed in a car crssh". Nice try though.
(
MatJ LOOK, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 20:10,
closed)
Damn that car crashI did wonder if it was a bit obvious
(
ousgg is not seeking approval, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 21:53,
closed)
« Go Back