My mum
I hate to say it, but my mum isn't exactly Enid Blyton-like with her morals. Not that she's an out-and-out cider-guzzling, dancing-round-the-handbag old slapper, but... I mean, when my dad died, we were all devastated, he was a good man, everyone looked up to him. But after a while she got it together with my uncle, his own bloody brother. It seemed well odd, especially seeing him living at our place where my dad had lived and done up real nice - it was like he'd always coveted it (that and my mum maybe, who knows how these sibling rivalries things work?).

So I was well pissed off. Then things went well weird - I saw the ghost of my dad (maybe it was a dream, but I don't think so) who said my uncle had had him killed! I had to get my vengeance on the bastard. But I just couldn't do it, and started flipping out and acting mental. Then my bird killed herself. I wasted some old guy, then his son came after me with a big fucking knife. If only I'd got round to it all sooner (or if my mum wasn't a slag).
(McChinaman banned, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 11:37, 6 replies)

One Tree Hill?








/sad
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 11:48, closed)

try shakespear
Hamlet
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 13:10, closed)

d'oh
kinda similar story in OTH though
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 22:06, closed)

Baha
I didn't get it until the second paragraph. Your bird doth protest too much, methinks
(SoneMe, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 12:47, closed)

Very well done!
I began to be a little suspicious at the ghost part, got to love a bit of Hamlet.
(Lucoire tutted and shook her head in disbelief on, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 13:59, closed)

i'm ashamed to say
i got that at the "she got it together with my uncle" part
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 21:34, closed)