The not-so-bright farmhand.
Christmas time was a coming and the geese were getting fat. There weren't many, perhaps fifty or so and they'd been rounded up into a barn and needed to be 'dealt with', so to speak, in order to be ready for the shop.
The farmer's rather busy and the task of dispatching the geese lay upon the local daft bugger.
"Gavin, get on up the barn and kill the geese. The whatdoyoucallit is leant up 'gainst the side wall"

The "whatdoyoucallit" meaning the broom handle. To kill a goose you lay the neck on the ground, put the broom handle across, stand on it and pull to break the neck.

Gavin returned after not a very long time, considering he had fifty geese to neck with a broom handle.

"Job done boss."

"That was quick Gav, how'd you get it done so fast?"

"Well, I haven't quite tidied up yet, thought I'd wait 'til it's calmed down a bit in there"

"Calmed down? What do y........." Farmer looked up from what he was doing and saw Gavin stood there. He immediately ran to the barn.


There the broom handle was, leant up against the wall.
Also leant up against the other wall was a scythe....... a very bloody looking one.

Gavin only went and picked up the scythe, chasing the birds round and loping their heads off! It was carnage, total carnage. Fucking blood everywhere with still twitching, violently fluttering headless corpses. All over the barn.

Wrong tool for the job using the wrong tool for the job.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 15:54, 6 replies)

Well, the moral to this one
is, don't call a 'broom' a 'whatchamacallit'.
(username failed moderation, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 16:04, closed)

So the farmer was the wrong person for the job of "boss" due to his inability to provide clear instructions?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 16:40, closed)

That too.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 16:47, closed)

You should take some lessons from the French, they're experts in geese cruelty

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Sep 2012, 16:42, closed)

i think this is a lie.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 6 Sep 2012, 19:56, closed)

We never bothered with a broom handle when we kept geese
Pick them up under one arm so they can't flap about.

Keep them calm.

Then get a hook-ended knife into their beak and drive it up into their brain through the roof of their mouth. Quick, clean, humane and they can't flap about in their death throes 'cos you're already holding their wings down.

mmm. roast goose. yum!
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 12:16, closed)