Ultimate roulette rong!
A mate of mine (lets call him "G", shall we?) is often best described as "odd". Napoleon Dynamite odd. In fact, he even looks a little like Napoleon Dynamite too, but I digress. It would take too long to go into all the many, varied ways this person is odd, so just try to imagine having Napoleon Dynamite as a friend..... a good guy, but weird.

Occasionally (very occasionally) he can be persuaded to go to the pub for a game of snooker. One such night, around two or three years back, we discovered a new games machine had been installed...... roulette! Now, unlike the usual rigged bandit, this machine was basically an automated game of roulette, which gave out a reciept for winnings which had to be cashed at the bar...... suffice to say it lasted about a week before they got rid of it because it was shitting money out like a senokot addict with food poisoning.

But this was the first night the machine was there, so we were intrigued. "G" wandered over and started playing it. We were in the middle of a game of snooker, so I was slightly annoyed, but he came back with a tenner (although how he did that is a mystery, as you shall soon see.....)

We finished our game and he started drifting back towards the machine. Sniffing an opportunity to make some money out of G's obvious idiot-savant ability at roulette, I gave him a pound to play for me.... we'd put £2 and split the winnings. It would probably keep us in snooker lights for the rest of the year, it was perfect.

So he inserted the coins and made his selections...... £1 on red, £1 on black. And hit spin.

I laughed. It was a good joke, thought I. He seemed genuinely relieved when he got our £2 back, exclaiming "Well, we never won anything, but we never lost anything either!" before again placing £1 on each colour and hitting spin.

After four times, I tried to explain that the only way we wouldn't get our £2 was if he landed on 00. He looked puzzled. "But I've not lost anything yet!".

"I know" said I, patiently, "but you've not won anything either, have you. You CAN'T win anything this way." He again placed the same bets.

"Look" I said, "Unless the ball lands on double zero, it's BOUND to land on either a black or red, isn't it?"

"Aye" he said, but I knew he wasn't sure.

"And if it does, we'll lose the pound we placed on the other colour, but win a pound on the colour we chose, meaning we'll always get £2 back. See?"

"Ooooooh!" he said, the penny finally dropping, "I get ye! I see what you mean!"

"You'll have to play it a bit more risky if you want to win anything" I said, and with that, he turned back to the machine, a new resolve etched on his face, and placed a far riskier bet.......

50p on red, 50p on black, 50p on odd and 50p on even.

I swear to God I don't know how he remembers to dress himself most days.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 20:10, 7 replies)

To be fair
it seems he found the ultimate way to gamble, though a tad bit dull...
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 20:45, closed)

I would have left him to it
if one of the pounds hadn't been mine, he was genuinely enjoying the thrill of it all!
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 20:48, closed)

Oh to possess
the sweet bliss of being thick as a brick... Somehow I get the image of a dog happily chasing its tail...
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 15 Jul 2010, 20:51, closed)

Linky
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:11, closed)

It would seem that he would get the same results by just betting 50p on 0 and 00
since a red / black still always breaks even but you still lost 1 pound on a 0 or 00. But at least his way, he always 'wins' something...
( Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Thu 15 Jul 2010, 21:41, closed)

It's not the ultimate way though.
Sooner or later you'll lose. With zero chance of winning.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 8:32, closed)

Far from being the thickest behaviour I've encountered with regard to fruit machines.
One evening at the pub with a mate of mine, I spotted a guy in a sheepskin coat worthy of John Motson propped up at the one-armed bandit. My mate knew this guy slightly (former work colleague, if memory serves), so vague "Alright"s were exchanged.

Over the hour or so we spent at the pub before moving on somewhere else, this bloke managed to pump EIGHTY QUID into the fruit machine. A regular, rigged, rip-you-off fruit machine. That's idiot without the savant.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 6:51, closed)