Doing it wrong turns into doing it right
Last week my friend and I got a lesson in how to gamble in Colorado, because we were doing it wrong.

We started playing a slot machine that someone had left 15 cents on. We didn't think much of it, because:
(A) The casino was one of those cheap bastards that spits out $1 tokens for you to cash, and any smaller denominations get left in the machine. TONS of machines there had a few cents on them.
(B) The couple that had been playing the machine had left fifteen minutes earlier, and if they still wanted it one of them should have stayed with the machine. Anyone who has gambled in Vegas knows that you never leave a machine that's paying out, even if you have to wear adult diapers. That's why Harrah's smells like old-person pee.

Anyway, we put $3 in it and played for about ten minutes - getting up to a whole $3.90 - before the couple came back. They were redneck trash, imagine the husband as the 'sugar water' alien guy in Men In Black: "That's my wife's machine."

So they got the casino employees involved, and said that we had engaged in gaming theft because they had left $15 on the machine, and his wife wanted the machine back. I'm not sure if they were so wasted that they really thought they had fifteen dollars on the machine (in which case I have no idea why they both walked away from it, other than the wasted thing), or if they were trying to scam us.

What we didn't know is that Colorado has a law that you can not play any machine with credits on it, because they don't allow smoking in casinos and addicts don't want to cash out and leave a machine every time they want a smoke.

In the end we had to give them a $10 settlement and give the machine back. Completely infuriated over the absurdity of the Colorado gaming system laws, we went to a casino across the street where my friend proceeded to win $253. While we waited outside for the valet to bring our car, I said "wouldn't it be awesome if we saw those people again, and said 'thanks, because you kicked me off that machine I went and played another one and won $253!'"

At which point the couple walked out of the casino across the street, and my friend yelled exactly that at them.


(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 21:17, 4 replies)

Haha - good story, and congratulations.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 21:39, closed)

my sister and brother-in-law
went to vegas a couple of years ago with another couple. after not winning, their friends decided they didn't want to split any winnings, despite the fact they'd already agreed to do just that. my sister was pissed off by this, but agreed.
half an hour later, her husband won $2,000.
they kept the lot themselves.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 22:26, closed)

Ha ha ha
KER-CHING
(Sadarse works like Mist condensing mud flaps, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 1:08, closed)

I hope
both SmashMonkey and Exempt ran over and rubbed those turds' fucking faces with their backbreakingly huge wad of moneystuff.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 18:23, closed)