You're forgetting one basic thing.
His girlfriend isn't actually real.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:37, archived)

do you think it's just his dog
in a dress and hat, sitting a the dinner table? He puts on a high-pitched, wooffling voice to make it talk:

"I ruff yoo, Parrott!"
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:41, archived)

*falls off chair laughing*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:42, archived)

zoinks!
New best post of the day nomination?
( moohalaa, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:43, archived)

If this was /board..
..and spangolin was Dave The Hat there would be a million posts of 'W/Y/H' and slightly sexist 'Wooyay' anaimations.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:44, archived)

*cheesy grin*
I'd like to thank my mum, dad....
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:49, archived)

?
I don't do /main, so the references are lost on me... I like the strangeness on here instead.

I keep looking back, reading it, and seeing a dalmatian in a pink tutu with a voice not unlike Scooby Doo.
( moohalaa, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:50, archived)

i imagined a greyhound
in a spotty dress and sunhat. Also it did still sound like Scooby Doo.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 12:56, archived)

haha
still made me piss myself laughing when I read it.
( moohalaa, Fri 1 Sep 2006, 13:07, archived)