speed-wanking
is an extreme sport.
( Damion International - now taking orders., Fri 29 Dec 2006, 15:16, archived)

bash.org/?715095
( SuperMatt, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 15:17, archived)

Damion's cousin has a pastime called Turbo-wanking.
He lives in a town house, so has 3 floors. His room is on the top floor. When he hears someone come in the front door, his aim is to fwap off before they get to his room to check how he is.
( Damion International - now taking orders., Fri 29 Dec 2006, 15:22, archived)

What if they don't?
What if they just go to the kitchen because they're hungry, or don't realise he's home?
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 29 Dec 2006, 15:25, archived)

If it's his mum, she will always come up to his room.

( Damion International - now taking orders., Fri 29 Dec 2006, 15:29, archived)