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I've just found JMG's diary..
9/1/07

0700 - awakened by alarm clock playing the Thunderbirds theme.
0701 - decide to sleep in as too AWESOME to get up
0758 - Get up and dress. Washing and teethcleaning is for spotties.
0800 - leave for work
0830 - Arrive at work. Theme from the A-Team plays as I enter the office.
1030 - Disdain the office fatty in his offer of a cup of tea
1045 - Discussion of the successes of NUFC.
1047 - Mockery of Sunderland AFC.
1300 - POWER LUNCH of VIMTO SANDWICH.
1400 - Logon to b3ta. Make same old posts deriding the same old posts to general adulation
1700 - Leave work. Receptionist announces over the PA that 'JMG has left the building'
1730 - Arrive home. Theme from 'Local Hero' plays as I enter the house.
1800 - POWER TEA of grilled vimto on whippet.
1830 - Logon to b3ta
1831 - Commence taunting Piston_Broke
2100 - Continue viewing of everything Jimy Nail has been in EVER.
2200 - Bed. Commence wank.
2202 - Wank finishes. Shatter lamppost bulb across the street with POWER JIZZ. Round of applause from assembled women of the North East.

Who's diary have you been reading?
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 17:49, archived)
That's fantastic. I love it.

(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 17:56, archived)
1300 hours is the best time to be me. Ever.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:01, archived)
AWESOME

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:02, archived)
Also
I read that as an algorithm, so now I imagine JMG as some sort of HYPER-AWESOME ROBOT.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:09, archived)
Pfft.

(MooCow_Byter, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:04, archived)
It's nice to know
That people talk about me when I'm not even about. It's even worse than not being talked about.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:04, archived)
Christ, you're like the Candyman.
Only unwelcome.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:14, archived)
And you're about as funny as a HIV orphan
Your point being?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:18, archived)
Meaning that the merest mention of your name appears to spur you into a frenzy of 'you're not funny'

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:24, archived)
Funny that.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:27, archived)
You are so gay for him.
You hardly go a day without talking about him in some way.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:33, archived)
The man does have a point
Should I have my back to the wall when I see you about?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:34, archived)
He has me wrapped around his little finger.
I write him notes.
I send him things.
But NO.
He's just out sexing yet ANOTHER harlot that he's adding to his harem.

*cries in corner*
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:37, archived)
JMG IS REPEATATIVE AND TEDIOUS AND I HAVEN'T SAID THIS BEFORE.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:37, archived)
Would an HIV orphan...
...grow up to be AIDS man?
(I helped save b3ta! gone, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:25, archived)
I honestly suspect you have a horn, that sounds whenever your name is typed on here.
Upon hearing it, you sprint to the nearest PC so as you don't miss out on any ba5h!11 references. Or references to you being dull.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:19, archived)
No, just a good sense of timing so it seems.
Plus to the fact you seem to have a cybernetic connection to this place, you're hardly one to talk.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:22, archived)
The other night I logged on here around half ten or so.
...and you had just posted some tedious anti-JMG remark.

Being the hero of this movie, I was quick to point out how wrong you were. It was fun to see you all anti-JMG when I wasn't here.

You told everyone you were off to bed in your next post, without replying to mine.


Hilarious as this is, if rumour gets around that you're gonna leave whenever I'm here. NO WONDER I have a "cybernetic connection" to b3ta. I'm doing national service.

Feel free to bring me some Vimto and Doritos. *Clap*.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:27, archived)
No, to be fair
You're just a one man band with a single joke who is so tedious it's like sitting through a Conservative Party political speech on the finer points of whelk populations. Only the seafood is more riveting. Although to be honest I don't know why I have you on my ignore list, my life would certainly be less tedious without you around. In fact...
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:33, archived)
If you're going to put people on ignore who don't like you, you're going to end up with no-one to talk to.
...Also. Are you claiming I'm tedious and repeatative again?

Don't they teach you to always keep things new and fresh over at the plastic army? After rope-tying of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:40, archived)
I CANNOT WATCH THE NEWCASTLE V MAN UNITED MATCH
because it is being shown on the one TV channel that is broken.

AND B3TA IS SLOW.

/sick day blog
(I helped save b3ta! KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:17, archived)
Are you sure you can't watch it because it was on 11 days ago?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 18:21, archived)