Your mum's so fat her vast quantities of matter distort the fabric of space-time

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:54, archived)

But surely at some point her sheer mass will reach a critical point
whereat she will implode, creating a Neutron-Mum of enormous mass but relatively small actual volume.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 23:57, archived)