It's no wonder even the lesbians hate you

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:30, archived)

They love me.
Especially the bull dykes.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:32, archived)

I bet they do
they probably imagine getting a whole arm up you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:32, archived)

I went to torture garden
There were two women in a cage. One was fist fucking the other.

Strangely hypnotic stuff.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:34, archived)

I can imagine
you should have asked if she'd lost her keys.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:35, archived)

It didn't feel right to engage them in conversation really.

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:36, archived)

Well I'm pretty sure
sign language wouldn't have worked either
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:38, archived)

Fuck I've just realised it's you.

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:39, archived)

REALLY?
...and what's wrong with that?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:41, archived)

Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I'm just a bit slow.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:42, archived)

Ah, ok
I decided to take my surname out of my username, people were starting to find out where I live and sending me gifts.

I got a poo toblerone and seventeen toenail clippings.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:43, archived)

Best. Christmas. EVER.

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:46, archived)

My nan wasn't appreciative
but she was impressed that I was able to make toenail gravy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 13:47, archived)

Mmmmmm... nicely done

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:15, archived)

I really want to go to Torture Garden
I can only imagine how out of place I would look.
( WormuIus, Mon 23 Mar 2009, 14:08, archived)