I bet you like a bit of crazy really
I bet you put the washing machine on fast spin and pretend you're the filling in a Gilgy/balders sandwich
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

Neither of you have proper manly facial hair

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

You balance on top of the washing machine, straddling a Vileda Supermop between your legs
rubbing its bristles into your face and orgasming off the stench of bleach and old dust.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 9 May 2009, 22:47, archived)