I thought that was just your mum's way of showing affection

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

Your mum shows affection my pecking you on the head
with her massive bill because she's a deranged pelican.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Your mum shows you she loves you by
taking chunks of flesh out of any girls who may be interested in you.

It's just something mothers do
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

this is actually true

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Aww, *ruffles hair*

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:02, archived)