My best mate is the fartiest woman I've ever met.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Girl farts are vicious compared to boy farts

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I can't smell hers, for some reason
it's a sign that we were meant to be platonic wives.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

great success!

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

That, and she's got very comfortable knees for a skinny bint.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

Getting farted on whilst spooning is funny for 5 seconds then just disappointing...and then upsetting.
with my last missus I could always tell if she was going to fart. she would powt, look at me all upset like she was about to cry and then let out an anal fog horn. She'd try and get hugs but i'd push her on the forehead bully style to get her away from me.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

You need to strike up a deal with her
for each time she farts on your cock, you get to bum her.

I feel this would fix 90% of failing marriages.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

hahaha
harsh but fair
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

GIRLS! don't hold it in! it just strokes against your poops in your bumbank and makes them smell worse!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

*inserts finger into your mouth slowly...*
...you like? you liiiiike?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:43, archived)