A black and white cat
who is trying to muscle himself on to my lap but I'm having none of it.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Shove it in the oven, 220C for 50 minutes.
Lovely.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

He's a bit old and stringy now
He'd be a bit chewy.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

In that case, freeze it with liquid nitrogen, then hit it with a big hammer.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 0:52, archived)