Your mum's face is so nasty, the doctor slapped her twice when you were born
Her cankles are so sludgey that dwarves get stuck in the folds and are there right now, screaming for mercy they know they'll never receive. Her feet are so putrid, the pavement cracks beneath her, most people think it's her astounding weight, but it's the godawful smell that does it really. Her nipples are so hairy, there's long forgotten explorers in there, rooting through the vegetation. She never was so hot on personal hygiene afterall, but don't worry, they eat each time she does, her shovelling technique for food isn't quite perfected yet, so she's classed as a dropper. Her hair, well Italians have mistaken it for spaghetti more than once and tried to boil her head to get at it. That might account for her nose, but I still say there's no excuse for the rest of her face. And her flange, dear me her tumescent rotting fuckhole...If you can imagine a smell more rancid, that spirals up from her gargantuan cunt and chokes innocent passers by with it's withering gasses, I wouldn't like to bear witness. Nothing compares to her flaps.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

*claps* EPIC!

I was actually smacked twice when born because I wasn't crying hard enough :(
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

wins

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:59, archived)