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We're justified and we're ancient
and we drive an Ice Cream Van.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
I can't really claim to be in my early 20's from Sunday
That makes me ancient.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
LOL THE LUDICROUS MISGUIDED OPINIONS OF YOUTH
You're young till you're old.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
But I thought you were 36ish?
;P
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
If only I could turn back time.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
You haven't had sex in so long you've got dust on your willy.
'Nobwebs' if you will...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:11, archived)
If only that weren't true

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
It's ok bud.
I've had Bob Hoskins, think how I feel. He thumb fucked me, whilst saying "Yit's Good Ta Tawwk!"
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
I bet he gave you a stubble rub with his hairy chin on the back of your neck
and you squirmed like a bookish schoolgirl being kissed by a bully.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:16, archived)
He tugged my pigtails and you watched and got a soft-on

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
pfft :D

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:40, archived)
If you were a muslim, would you be a Sunni (sunny) or Shia (Chair) ?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
I would be a chair that faces east at all times.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
I'm in my mid-20's
and I haven't achieved anything of note in my life.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
Ditto,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
Late twenties here
Nowt achieved. GO UNDER-ACHIEVERS
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
30
and a slacking waster.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:11, archived)
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
+ DDDDDDDGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE who would like some?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
I'd LOVE some
THANK YOU
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
*bends over*
reach into the fudge ove then
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:16, archived)
Anal [Mining]
Anal [Find Fudge]
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:17, archived)
This is one of my favourite memes.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:18, archived)
Twisting my words
you fudge munching bastards
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:17, archived)
Your fudge, It's soft and got nuts in it
MY nuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:22, archived)
You wish
If only I had a nut allergy
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
SSHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi
ver my timbers, i wouldn't say no
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
Who does in their 20's ?
Other than Charlemagne and William Pitt the Younger.

Both of whom were cunts in any case.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
Actually I was just saying it to make him feel even worse.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:13, archived)
VAGINA

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:37, archived)
I scratched my nose and now it's bleeding

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
I punched my mum and now she's weeing

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
I punched my mum once
She had fair warning
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:10, archived)
You cunt
you just flooded Africa
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:16, archived)
It's ok. Your mum's patted together by a muddy spastic house is fine. Well, I say fine, even the poor Afican kids laugh at her house & face that looks like a overused tennis shoe

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:18, archived)
She may look like an overused tennis shoe
but don't you dare say a word about her house. Three mongs died assembling it from their own faeces.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:20, archived)
assfixiation from where your mum dived on them, trying to gobble the goodness from their nutty trouncheons
you won't win. I'm the world's sickest fuck ;P
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:25, archived)
I challenge thee to a duel
beckyjsbx.mybrute.com

Your mum can't play, cos she'd suck all the other contenders up into her windsock vag
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:27, archived)
Your mum's cunt is so massive that if you shouted into it, the echo that comes out 15 minutes later would sound like Frankie Howerd doing a sneeze from bouncing around her deformed, Frankenstein's monster of a cervix.
Rocky Once went 12 rounds with her clit and lost. It's so hairy that when you were born you had 3rd degree burns all over your body. Her womb is lined with 70's indian restaurant wallpaper.

;P
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:35, archived)
Her Mum's clit is like a gorilla's fist holding a cock.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:38, archived)
I like how deep and sick we go with the 'YM' thing.
Sometimes I wish I wrote down some of the shit we've said to each other :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:39, archived)
It was of the moment
If we wrote it down it would just end up like the baldmonkey podcast.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Your mum's face is so nasty, the doctor slapped her twice when you were born
Her cankles are so sludgey that dwarves get stuck in the folds and are there right now, screaming for mercy they know they'll never receive. Her feet are so putrid, the pavement cracks beneath her, most people think it's her astounding weight, but it's the godawful smell that does it really. Her nipples are so hairy, there's long forgotten explorers in there, rooting through the vegetation. She never was so hot on personal hygiene afterall, but don't worry, they eat each time she does, her shovelling technique for food isn't quite perfected yet, so she's classed as a dropper. Her hair, well Italians have mistaken it for spaghetti more than once and tried to boil her head to get at it. That might account for her nose, but I still say there's no excuse for the rest of her face. And her flange, dear me her tumescent rotting fuckhole...If you can imagine a smell more rancid, that spirals up from her gargantuan cunt and chokes innocent passers by with it's withering gasses, I wouldn't like to bear witness. Nothing compares to her flaps.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
*claps* EPIC!

I was actually smacked twice when born because I wasn't crying hard enough :(
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
wins

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
p.s. I don't have one those mybrute thingys :S

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:37, archived)
sign up and get one
they're awfully fun :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
I already play the grownup version of Warcraft. I'm already sad enough...

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
Oh dear
That's three relatively normal guys I know now that play that thing. Oh the humanity
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:59, archived)
Ice Cream Vans are just propagandist tools of the New World Order
They scurry about playing tunes and giving soporifics to the huddled masses, keeping them in line and doped up so they don't see the TRUTH
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
but a perfect way to blow up children

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 19 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
Only an agent of the Illuminati would think such a thing
LIZARD MAN! LIZARD MAN!
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:13, archived)
MAKE MINE A 99

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
filthy sod

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 19 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
MAKE MINE A 23

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:12, archived)
We're justified and we're ancient
with still no master plan?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
ANCIENTS of Mu Mu
ANCIENTS of Mu Mu
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:11, archived)
That one was with Tammy Wynette too, wasn't it?
"they called me up in Tenessee, saying 'Tammy, stand by your man'"

or something.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
Stand by the JAMMS

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:21, archived)
I can't really remember.
I didn't listen to them that much. 3am Eternal was OK.

/hello Miss. How's tricks and that?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
I wasn't a massive fan, truth be told.
FF likes them.

Meh, I'm alright. Not particularly great but then not as shit as some. irldramaoffline etc.

How are you, lovely?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
I have a sore foot.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:14, archived)
If mine was that long
it'd be sore too.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
We have the creepiest ice cream van by us
the jingle is polyphonic rather than the traditional bell sound, and is a nightmarish rendition of "girls and boys go out to play" played in a minor key
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 19 May 2009, 11:17, archived)
Girls and boys go out to play
on a busy motorway.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:33, archived)
Turn up the strobe

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:24, archived)
MASTICATE

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:29, archived)