I heard about my own surprise party the office were planning for me
I categorically stated that no celebration of this event should be held, and that I would take the day off work if necessary.

Based on the amount of tears this caused, I now know that 3.6 women in the office fancy me, and possibly one bloke if he doesn't have hay fever instead.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Wankers.
Fucking cock end tip nibblers.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:31, archived)